A few years back, an Auburn fan who goes by the Rivals username “DeepBlue” posted this controversial dissertation about LSU fans. It has become SEC legend ever since. I love all my LSU friends, but this story just cracks me up. If you are prone to be offended, either (a) don’t read it at all or (b) blame Auburn, because that’s where it came from.

So, without further ado, I give you the story of LSU fans and their facination with battered meat on a stick:

LSU Fans Smell Like Corndogs

LSU fans smell just like corn dogs.

Yes, it is often said, but so, so true.

LSU fans do smell like corn dogs.

I would never tell them that to their face though. This is something better said at Internet distances. Even now, I am afraid.

I am afraid that they’ll know I said it. I’ll walk past an LSU fan someday, and he’ll see that look in my eye that gives it away. That look that says, “Gee, what is that smell? Is it corn dogs?” The next thing you know, I’ll have flat tires on my car.

If you only learn one thing from me today, remember not to tell LSU fans how they smell, you know, like corn dogs.

LSU fans seem, somehow, sensitive to that whole corn dog issue.

I think this may be why a lot of fans get beaten up by LSU fans. If you attend a game in Baton Rouge, try to avoid telling them that they smell like corn dogs. Say something else instead. Like, “Wow, LSU sure does have a great team this year. This is going to be a great SEC game.”

It’s hard. I know. It’s like when you’re having sex and you try to think about baseball. That corn dog smell is just so overwhelming. It makes it hard for you to think about football or baseball or whatever else. Your brain wanders into corn dog topics like: “Gee, I wonder if I took a bite of your finger, if you would taste just like a corn dog?”; or “Is this a real person or is it a giant corn dog trying to make me think it is a real person?” or “What did that giant corn dog just say?” or “Excuse me, Mister, why is it that you smell just exactly like corn dogs smell?” or, of course, after a silencer: “Madam, did you just let the corn dogs out?”

Heck, after what I’ve heard about LSU fans, I think it may be better not to smell them at all. Okay, not all of them. Some of them are nice. Sure. Smell the nice ones. That’s okay.

You know what else is a bad thing to do? Holding your nose around them. They are real sensitive to that, too. Try holding your breath. But don’t be obvious about it. Somehow they know you’re trying not to breathe in the corn dog smell. And that offends them. They’ll likely punch you for that if they catch on to what you’re doing.

If you do breathe it in long enough, though, it’ll permeate your whole body, and then you’ll smell like a corn dog just like they do. But don’t say, “Dang, now I smell like a corn dog.” They take offense to that. And they will throw things. But not corn dogs. Hard stuff. Stuff that leaves bruises and makes you bleed. Then you may have to get stitches or something. Just don’t say it. If you do start smelling like a corn dog, just shut up about it. Okay?

I think kids are acutely aware of corn dog smells too. Counsel your kids on how to behave around LSU fans. If LSU fans are driving around town, do not let your kids stick their heads out of your car window and sniff the air. No. Keep your windows rolled up. An odd change in their expression – indicating they smell corn dogs – might get a wrench or pipe or some other object tossed at your windshield. So, that’s dangerous. Let your kids stick their heads out of the car windows as you drive around on some other weekend.

I know you are just as puzzled as I am about some of this corn dog stuff. What puzzles me most is that I’ve never actually seen any of these LSU fans with a corn dog in their hand. Okay, maybe there’s no mystery there – maybe they already ate the corn dogs. Who knows? Maybe there’s a corn dog factory in Baton Rouge and they all work there. Maybe, there’s a corn dog lotion that they wear, or a French perfume. Maybe their city council puts corn dog juice in the water supply – kind of like fluoride. The politics there are probably weird. The big political issue during the city election is whether they should add more ketchup or more mustard to the water. Don’t comment on it though. It’s not politically correct over there. It’s like a malnutrition issue or something. It’s like the corn dogs are probably added to the water to prevent starvation or something.

I know when you go to Baton Rouge, you’re thinking: “Ahhhh. Here I am in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I’ll bet the people here smell just like boiled crawfish or shrimp etoufe’ or some fancy Cajun food.” But just stop thinking that. That’s just a myth. They smell just like corn dogs.

In fact, please listen to my advice. Leave them alone about the corn dog odor. And don’t try masking the odor with something stronger. They’ll curse at you. They’ll say something like: “!#@%$&!, how dare you smoke a cigar in my home,” or “!#@%$&!!! Are you too good for the smell of corn dogs?” And they’ll cuss out your kids too: “!#@%$&!!!! Little Mister Fancy Pants over here acts like he doesn’t want to smell like corn dogs.”

Cajuns are not like us. Don’t you see that, yet? They are really sensitive about being sniffed and about their corn dog aroma. They know they smell like corn dogs and it is no laughing matter to them at all. I know, I know. We sniff the Bammers and the UGA dawgs and the Ole messes, and we keep a straight face with each of them, but don’t press your luck with the Cajun Tiger fans. Don’t refer to Death Valley as Corn Dog Valley either. I mean that’s just wrong. Even if you’ve been drinking, they’ll beat you up and curse out your kids.

Along these lines, be extra careful when you laugh in their direction – even if you’re laughing about something else. Like baseball or football, or sex, or whatever. If you can’t control yourself and you must laugh though, do not snort. The snorting makes them think that you smell their corn dog body odor from a distance or that you’re choking on it or something. They’ll likely burn your van for that. We lost a campus building over just one snort.

So, just remember. You can love one another without sniffing each other. You can enjoy the clash of a couple of good football teams. You can enjoy the thrill of the rivalry. But after the game, please heed my words. Please just move along. No sniffing the opposing fans this Saturday. Okay? Get your corn dog jollies at home.

Enough with this corn dog talk. Let’s play ball…

Excellent column by J. Matt Barber, Liberty Counsel Director of Cultural Affairs.

The study [reported in Reuters] exposed the jaw-dropping fact that one-in-five “gay” and “bisexual” men in American cities have been infected with HIV/Aids.  Needless to say, this scandalous revelation completely blows out of the water, the left’s morally relative, propagandist line that homosexuality is “normal, natural and good.”

***

… far too many Christians have contributed to the dilemma by failing to speak truth, in love, on the issue of homosexuality …  Nobody likes to be unfairly labeled a hater, “homophobe” or bigot, but fear of such attacks offers no justification for failing to speak truth in love …

Click here to see the column.

Here’s a great video from our friends at the Canadian Centre for Bio-Ethical Reform.  Stephanie Gray presents medical information on the beginning of life. She also describes why it is illogical to hold the position that preborn children may be killed because they are smaller, less developed, more dependent, and/or simply living in a different environment than the rest of us.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KH1jJiuYBpA

Protestants and Catholics, unite!  Dr. Alveda King, a Baptist minister, and Fr. Frank Pavone, a Catholic priest, have long worked together to promote the Gospel of Life, a message of hope and healing, across racial and denominational lines.  Fr. Pavone and Dr. King (niece of Dr. Martin Luther King) will be in Knoxville on Friday-Saturday, October 15-16, and I hope you will join us.

Friday night’s Worship Rally will be at 7 p.m. at the Tennessee Theater and Saturday’s Prayer Vigil will be at 9 a.m. at the Cherry Street Planned Parenthood Clinic.

There are three abortion clinics in Knoxville, including Planned Parenthood’s new clinic in East Knoxville.  Nearly 4000 children are killed every year in these clinics. This does not include those killed by the RU-486 abortion pill and other forms of chemical abortion.

Nearly twenty years ago, pro-life leaders in Chattanooga rallied and prayed together.  For their faithfulness, God closed the last abortion clinic in Chattanooga, turning that property into The National Memorial for the Unborn. Chattanooga remains the largest city in America without an abortion clinic or PP presence.

Let’s pray and work to make Knoxville the next one.  For more information, visit www.ProLifeFreedomRides.com.

GAP at a Canadian university

Please pray for these brave students.  When it comes to freedoms that we take for granted, some Canadian universities are degenerating into Third World dictatorships.  The University of Calgary has already made it.  Here’s a press release from CBR Canada.

Students Risk More Penalties from University of Calgary for Defying Censorship

CALGARY – Despite warnings from the University of Calgary administration, members of the Campus Pro-Life (CPL) student group found guilty of “Non-Academic Misconduct” for having set up a pro-life display on campus this past April are once again displaying the Genocide Awareness Project (GAP) on the U of C campus.

The controversial display compares abortion to past historical atrocities, such as the Rwandan genocide and the Holocaust in Nazi Germany. The display is scheduled to be set up between the MacEwan Student Centre and Science B buildings today (September 27th) and tomorrow (September 28th).

“The images are difficult to look at; admittedly, we don’t like looking at them either, but the images are only upsetting because abortion is upsetting,” stated CPL President Alanna Campbell.

After the display was previously exhibited last April, members of the group were charged and found guilty of a ‘Major Violation’ under Section 4.10 of the University of Calgary’s Non-Academic Misconduct Policy for “failure to comply with a Campus Security officer or University official in legitimate pursuit of his/her duties” by refusing to turn their display inward. Other major violations in this category include sexual assault, the use of explosives and firearms, and selling illegal drugs.

The guilty verdict was “a formal written warning” that if the students “fail to comply with directives of Campus Security staff in the future” it will “result in more severe sanctions,” wrote Acting Associate Vice-Provost Meghan Houghton, who was the sole decision-maker in the guilty verdict. More severe sanctions can include the possibility of expulsion. The University’s Appeal Board refused to hear the students’ appeal, and members of the student group will appeal the guilty verdict to the Board of Governors.

“This will be the tenth display of GAP on campus. We have always found that this display has a large capacity for healing, educating, and raising awareness,” said CPL Vice-President Cameron Wilson. “That makes this display, without a shadow of doubt, worth the cost that the university seeks to exact from us individually.”

The group has displayed its Genocide Awareness Project on the University of Calgary grounds, without incident, nine times since 2006. In 2006 and 2007, during the first four Genocide Awareness Project (GAP) campus displays, the University defended the students’ right to expression under the Charter, but in 2008 the University reversed its policy without explanation.

In 2009, the University charged six students with trespassing in relation to the display, but the Crown Prosecutor stayed these charges prior to a trial scheduled for November of 2009. Since then, members of Campus Pro-Life have been threatened with Non-Academic Misconduct upon each display, and the University has found eight students guilty of Non-Academic Misconduct.

“We believe in the effectiveness of the display and we believe in our right to display it. For these reasons, we will not give in to intimidation and will challenge all attempts at censorship. We are proceeding now just as we have in the past,” stated Peter Csillag, CPL Vice-President.

For further information, contact Club President Alanna Campbell at (403) 690-5217, Vice-President (External) Cameron Wilson at (403) 668-9624, Vice-President (Internal) Peter Csillag at (403) 465-1777, or lawyer John Carpay at (403) 619-8014.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPYaRJOWznk

I love this story about a mom (Andie DeKroon) who gave her daughter up for adoption.  She was unmarried and 22 years old at the time.  Later, God blessed her with 10 more children.

In 2008, University of Georgia student Jenna Sykes decided that she wanted to get in touch with her birth mom.  Andie agreed, so they started writing letters.  Now, Jenna is about the same age as Andie was back then.  And they are competing together in the upcoming season of The Amazing Race on CBS!

Think of it.  Andie could have said “that baby will ruin my life.”  She did’t.  She had faith in the future.  She loved God’s creation more than her own convenience.  And now God continues to bless her with riches beyond measure.

These same kind of stories are being written today, when you support CBR.  You are literally writing happy stories on the hearts of others.  These stories won’t all be on TV, but I’m convinced they will be told in eternity before the Throne of God.  (That’s probably better than TV.)  Thank you for writing happy stories.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgGsHC7m5zE

Jill Stanek has an interesting op-ed piece in the World Net Daily that you should read.  She addresses the pro-life aspects of the new GOP Pledge to America and the emergence of a number of pro-life Tea Party candidates in key Senate races.

I’m sure that there will be many people disappointed that the GOP Pledge says little about abortion, but Stanek points out that it actually says more than it’s predecessor, the 1994 Contract with America.

Although the new Pledge is no pro-life manifesto, it does have the effect of saving babies by removing some of the funding that pays for the killing.  We should bear in mind that defunding Planned Parenthood in New Jersey has already caused at least one abortion clinic to close down.

Furthermore, it has been reported, the GOP Pledge also promises to defund and repeal ObamaCare.  That’s big because ObamaCare is the most aggressive baby-killing legislation perhaps ever to pass Congress.

Some pro-lifers lament the fact that although the Tea Party is emerging as a conservative force in the Republican party, the Tea Party says nothing about abortion.  We should remember that words are important, but deeds are also important.

As it turns out, five GOP tea party-backed U.S. Senate candidates are pro-life with no exceptions: Sharron Angle of Nevada, Ken Buck of Colorado, Joe Miller of Alaska, Christine O’Donnell of Delaware and Rand Paul of Kentucky.

You think that’s not big?  Planned Parenthood CEO Cecile Richards thinks it is, hence her frantic email alert Monday calling this development, “not just crazy – truly frightening.”

Non tea-party candidates Carly Fiorina of California and Kelly Ayotte of New Hampshire are also reported to be pro-life.  That’s big because right now, all 17 female senators are pro-abortion, including the four Republicans.

Yes, we still have a long way to go.  The work of protecting every unborn child will not be finished overnight.  But until that day comes, my rule is this: if the pro-aborts don’t like it, it must be good.

7-week embryo

In recent weeks, we are seeing a kind of science denial by abortion advocates in Missouri that is normally the prevue of Darwinists.  The state legislature has recently passed a bill that actually recognizes the scientific fact that life begins at conception.

Senate Bill 793, which adds new regulations to the state’s 24-hour informed consent law for abortions, states that “the life of each human being begins at conception.”  It also declares that “abortion will terminate the life of a separate, unique, living human being.”  (Source 1)  (Source 2)

As you can imagine, that law didn’t sit too well with pro-aborts.  So, taking a page out of the Darwinist playbook, they claimed that the scientific evidence (confirmed by many medical textbooks on prenatal development) isn’t really science at all.  It is religion.  I’m not kidding.

But of course, what else could they say?  After all, they can’t admit that the facts are true.  The implications of the facts are so horrifying, they must be denied, no matter what.

(Click here for a paper that summarizes statements from medical school textbooks, scientists, and even pro-abortion philosophers, all confirming that life begins at conception.)

People deny science when it challenges their own religion or some other deeply-held belief.  Did you watch “Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed”?  If you didn’t, shame on you.  BTW, if every child in your church doesn’t see it once a year, then shame on you.  (Yes, I said you.)

Anyway, in this movie, the great Darwinist Richard Dawkins is interviewed by intelligent design (ID) proponent Ben Stein.  The idea of an intelligent Designer/Creator is so horrifying to Dawkins, any evidence for it must be denied or ignored, no matter what.  Darwinists must pretend that such evidence isn’t really science at all.  It is religion.

But Dawkins has a problem because Darwinism can’t begin to explain how highly complex cells got here in the first place.  Cells are vastly more complex than was ever imagined, and Darwinism just doesn’t explain it.  So Dawkins has to speculate.  In a moment of candor not likely to be repeated anytime soon, he suggests that one possible explanation might be that space aliens planted cellular life here on Earth.  I’m not lying; watch the movie.

Lemme get this straight.  According to Dawkins, it’s entirely plausible that we all evolved from the protozoa that came from the bowels of some space alien who stopped off at Planet Earth for a potty break on his way to the Delta Quadrant.  But it’s NOT plausible that we were created by a Creator God.  Riiiiight.

And they say this stuff with a straight face.

What happened when Hitler found out about CBR’s presence at the March for Life?  Watch and see!

This video was put together by one of our European allies.  Any similarity of the people or events depicted in this video with any real person or historical events, past or present, is purely comical.

To see the video click here.  If that doesn’t work, click here.

BTW, UT fans may note that Hitler’s response to CBR was uncannily similar to his reaction when Lane Kiffin bolted for USC, but I don’t want to get into that.

Sometimes, all it takes is one person speaking truthfully to give other people the freedom to do the same thing.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Or0tVpGBkK8

Do you know the difference between an extremist and a main stream candidate?  We’re indebted to Jose Farias for the answer.  He left this comment in response to an article in The Telegraph.

Today’s definition of an “extreme” candidate is:

1. Being against high deficits;
2. Being against a higher debt;
3. Being for living within your means;
4. Being for small government;
5. Being for spending cuts;
6. Being for lower taxes;
7. Being for less regulations;
8. Being for the traditional definition of marriage (between a man and a woman);
9. Being against terrorism;
10. Being for a strong military;
11. Being for the implementation of the rule of law when it comes to illegal immigration;
12. Being for individual freedom;
13. Being for the Constitution as envisioned by the founding fathers;
14. Being for free markets;
15. Believing in the abilities of the American people;
16. Holding on to the beliefs of our God, the Creator of Heavens and Earth;
17. Believing on the right to bear arms;
18. I could go on and on …

Today’s definition of “main stream” candidate is:

1. Not holding on to any principles;
2. Not saying what you mean, and not meaning what you say;
3. Being for high deficits (they don’t say they are but actions speak louder than words);
4. Being for a higher debt (ditto);
5. Spending like drunk sailors;
6. Being for more regulations;
7. Being for homosexual marriage;
8. Being for a weak military;
9. Being against the fight against terrorists;
10. Being for criminals when it comes to the execution of the law;
11. Believing the individual can not take care of himself;
12. Believing the government is to run everything, that is, believing in socialism;
13. Being for the limitation of individual liberties in favor of government intrusion;
14. Being against free markets;
15. Being for Keynesian economics;
16. Being in favor of gun control;
17. Being against the right to exercise one’s religious beliefs;
18. Being against God;
19. Being against Christians;
20. Being in favor of Muslims;
21. I could go on and on …

Andy Stephenson and Kathryn Sloane of Worthing, West Sussex, display CBR abortion photo.

Andy Stephenson and Kathryn Sloane of CBR UK were arrested for displaying an abortion photo outside a publicly-funded abortion clinic in Brighton, England. The story (link here) appeared in the London Telegraph, along with this photo (right).  This is the first time a major British newspaper (with a global readership, we might add) has published a photo of a first-trimester abortion. It is sure to be seen by hundreds of thousands of people all over the world.

The richest element of the story is not only the fact that the complainants who called the police were the abortion clinic staff, but also that these abortionists were “concerned” that aborting mothers “… entering the clinic felt traumatised and upset” by photos which showed them what the clinic was about to do to their babies!  They make this incriminating admission without a hint of ironic awareness.

Even more paradoxically, Ann Furedi, the abortion clinic director “… said she fully supported the right of pro-life activists to demonstrate against abortion clinics” but only so long as they don’t show mothers the evil atrocities Ms. Furedi is committing inside the clinic.  She condones a pro-life presence which allows aborting mothers to feel good about what they are about to do but condemns “… actions that are designed to distress people who are accessing legal, medical services.”  Abortion can only thrive in secrecy because secrecy allows everyone to pretend that the baby isn’t really a baby and abortion isn’t really a vicious act of violence.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlfEdJNn15E

Anybody who has done street pro-life work very long has encountered the police.  The overwhelming number of police officers do a great job, but there are some who really like to throw their weight around.  Others are confused about your rights.  And, as this video makes clear, there are some police officers who will lie and tamper with evidence to cover up their own misconduct.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tE8Xom38Rd8

For your own protection, we recommend you audio-record all of your public activities and, where possible, videotape.  It is your right to do this.  It creates an indisputable record of what you did and didn’t do.  It also discourages people from assaulting you on the street.

If an officer tells us to stop recording, we comply.  When approached by officers, we tell them that we are wearing audio recording devices and are recording the conversation.  If a video recorder is operating, we tell him that, too.  If he tells us to turn them off, we reply, “Officer, I will comply with your demand, but I need to ask you by what law or regulation you are compelling me to turn it off.”  Whatever he answers, we turn it off.  If he tells us to leave, we leave.  There will be plenty of time later to bring a civil rights action against the police/city, and it’s better to be a plaintiff in a civil rights action than a defendant in a criminal complaint.

By the way, we save ourselves a whole lot of trouble by formally notifying the police when we are planning to conduct operations within their jurisdiction.  This gives the chiefs a chance to check us out and tell the street cops to leave us alone.