CBR volunteer Debbie Picarello, who is post-abortive, speaks with a student on campus.

CBR staff and volunteers in Atlanta were holding “Choice” signs at a very busy intersection (near an interstate exit at rush hour).  We reached tens of thousands of motorists with our message!

As we stood on the sidewalk, I was approached by Molly, who asked about our activity.  I explained to her why we display photos of first-trimester abortion victims.  We are used to dealing with every imaginable response, but her’s caught me off guard.  She said, “So, if someone wanted to donate to you guys, how would they go about it?”  (The answer is, “Click right here!”)

I told Molly that our work is based on the work of Martin Luther King, Jr.  Just as American did not reject racism until American saw racism, America will not reject abortion until American sees abortion.

“Which is true!” Molly agreed, “because I’ve had an abortion… I knew it was wrong at the time I had it.  But it wasn’t until I saw this video on the internet called ‘The Silent Scream’ that I realized just how wrong it was.”  As a post-abortive mother, Molly supported our work, and not only with her words.  She made a generous donation as well!

Who knows how many preborn children have been saved from decapitation and dismemberment because we reached their mothers first?  Like Molly, these mothers can easily rationalize this horror, even thought it goes against their maternal instincts.  Seeing victims of abortion can give them the resolve to save their children’s lives.

“What about post-abortive women?” is a common question … and a legitimate concern.  People ask, “How can we do this in a way that is non-condemning?”  It is a question we ask as well.  We answer it by directing hurting people to seek out post-abortion healing ministries like Deeper Still.

Others raise this objection only as a way to suppress the truth.  Their supposed “compassion” serves only to maintain the status quo … death for many and bondage for many more.

“But there are so many other ways to get the pro-life message across that are more positive,” they say.

A post-abortive stranger encouraged us to keep showing these images.

Indeed, there are.  Educating people about prenatal development will save children.  Helping pregnant mothers will save children.  But neither of these activities, as important as they are, will convince millions of Americans that abortion is so evil that it ought to be against the law.

That is our mission, to convince people (like Molly’s former self) that abortion is not just evil, but is so evil that it ought to be against the law.  And because people are so apathetic about our message, we only get about 3 seconds to prove that point.

Abortion is legal because decapitating and dismembering preborn children has been relabeled with an obscure, meaningless word, abortion.  As the main character of “The Giver” aptly states, “We haven’t eliminated murder, we just call it by another name.”

Lincoln Brandenburg is a project director for the Center for Bio-Ethical Reform and a frequent FAB contributor.

Laurice Baddour shares the Love of Christ everywhere she goes.

Pray for students who need healing.  A young woman walked past, then turned around and came back.  She asked of Ohio volunteer Laurice Baddour, “What would you do in the case of rape, and you had no other choice but to have an abortion?”  Laurice: “Were you raped and had an abortion?”  “Yes, when I was young.”  (She is still so young!)  So they talked.  Laurice shared with her our “Ask the Victim” handout, told her that there are resources for healing, and said that maybe one day she will have regrets and want to access some of these resources.  She walked away abruptly, but as she left Laurice said “Please know I truly care about you and am here for you.”  She looked back, listened, then sadly and quietly walked away.  Such women often suffer great pain and are unable to engage in civil conversation.  God had prepared her heart for a seed of truth.  Pray that this seed will grow and produce the fruit of healing.

The whole family needs healing.  Missie was looking at the photos, at a distance, crying.  Massachusetts volunteer Marie went to see what she could do.  “My boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend (Susan) just had an abortion and we are all devastated and angry at her.  We all would have helped her and she didn’t let us.”  Missie took information on Rachel’s Vineyard and promised to give it to Susan as soon as her own emotions had calmed down.  She believes Susan will be hurting sooner rather than later.

Debbie Picarello

If you are a post-abortive woman (or man) willing to share your story, there is no better place to do it than in front of our GAP display.  You can reach more people in one day on campus than in a whole year at your church.  You can reach people who really need you.  And who better than you to warn students of the consequences of “choice?”

Here is an essay from Debbie Picarello, someone just like you who is deeply committed to helping others find healing from their abortions.  Read about her in student newspapers at the U of Central Florida (link here) and the U of South Florida (link here).  In addition to standing with us on campus, she also volunteers with Deeper Still, one of our favorite post-abortion healing ministries.  We pray that God will send us more like her.  Perhaps He will send you!

Hope and Healing on Campus
by Debbie Picarello

I was in college when I had my abortion.  Living without my child and living with the consequences of my “choice,” I have had a deep desire to reach men and women in this age group.  Guttmacher estimates that half of all abortions are performed on women of college age, so the college campus is ground-zero for either preventing abortions or ministering to those already wounded.

My recent mission trip to Florida with the Genocide Awareness Project (GAP) was my most productive to date.  At the GAP displays, I set up a Deeper Still post-abortion healing table a few yards away from the display.  My sign says, “I’ve had an abortion, you can ask me anything.”  At the University of South Florida, I was approached by so many post abortive women and men, I lost count.

Stories from the men and women varied.  Some regretted their decision to abort and wanted information about healing.  Some tried to justify why they don’t yet regret their abortions.  Others were somewhere in between.  It was interesting to hear people share how, over time, it has become harder and harder to justify their “choice,” because it hurts.  They hurt.

Some said that because I had an abortion, I was the only one who could speak authoritatively on the subject.  I know that is not true, because abortion is still takes the life of a pre-born child, whether or not the mother feels regret over it.  Nevertheless, that was the sentiment of a lot of students that stopped by the Deeper Still table. There is great power in testimony, especially the testimony of a healed man or woman.  We can speak with the authority because we have been there, but we can also speak about Jesus, The Healer Himself.

I still find myself missing my twenty-something I aborted so many years ago, wondering what life with her would have been like.  Sharing her story over and over keeps her memory alive.  GAP has been a wonderful opportunity to share not only what abortion does to the pre-born child, but also to show that there is hope and healing in Jesus Christ after abortion.

Anyone can do what I am doing.  Your story matters and there is someone desperate to hear it.  CBR gives GREAT training, and they will teach you ‘how’ to share your story in the context of the whole larger abortion debate.  And men — this is a men’s issue too — your story needs to be heard as well.

Please join us on a short term mission trip to a college campus near  you.  I promise, you will NEVER be the same!  These trips have forever changed me because I have gotten to see first-hand that hearts, minds, AND lives are saved by these outreaches.

Deeper Still volunteers Debbie Picarello and Sandie Sendall speak with students about their abortion experiences at the University of Kentucky.

Deeper Still’s Sandy Sendall and Debbie Picarello minister to abortion-wounded hearts. What a blessing to see them share the love of Messiah Jesus!

A 20-something male student approached the Deeper Still table at the U of Tennessee.  He was ready to share his story.  His girlfriend “at the time” — few relationships survive abortion — decided to abort their child against his wishes.  He offered to support her and the baby fully, but she would not be deterred.

The abortion, the loss of his child, had wounded his heart profoundly.  He took some information on Deeper Still and said he would share it with the mother of his aborted child.  Let us pray for this young couple … that they find healing and forgiveness in our Messiah Jesus.

Denial is the biggest obstacle to healing men and women from abortion.  Until people can understand the sin, they can never repent and heal from it.  Overcoming denial is the first step.  That is why we are so blessed to be partnering with the good people from the Deeper Still post-abortion healing ministry in our on-campus outreaches.

As an example of how this works, please read Judy Townsend’s story.  She saw our photos at a GAP in downtown Knoxville.  Deeper Still was also working nearby, offering hope and healing to any and all who would ask for help.

Deeper Still’s Karen Ellison and Kay Smith at Market Square.

Abortion pictures pierce through denial about basic facts, and thereby open the way for Kate Kennamer to have a rational dialogue with passersby. Rational dialogue is impossible when people deny the basic fact that every abortion is an act of violence that kills a baby. (Note: this caption was corrected on 5/16 because one of the students in the photo has commented below, and as best we can tell, he was NOT willing to have a rational dialogue on this occasion. We routinely have civil discourse with people who are pro-choice, so apparently we jumped to the wrong conclusion in this case. FAB regrets the error.)

Earlier this month, 4 CBR staff and volunteers spent the day at the University of Tennessee at Knoxville (UTK) with hand-held “Choice” signs.  “Choice” signs are 3-ft-by-4-ft, light-weight, hand-held signs that depict aborted babies in the first trimester.  These signs simply show students what “choice” really is.

CBR volunteer Debbie Picarello spoke with a male graduate student who said his mother had 2 abortions before giving birth to him and his living brother.  He learned of her abortions a year ago.  He believes much of the dysfunctionality his mother has displayed toward him and his brother was a product of her abortion-wounded heart.

His own father is also the father of one of the aborted children, and their marriage is not a good one.  One of the symptoms of an abortion-wounded heart is relational difficulties. 

A pro-life male student wondered how effective graphic pictures are.  Debbie explained the historical significance of images, that reformers have been effective when they used images to expose the humanity of the victims and the inhumanity of the crime.  Debbie doesn’t ‘like’ these pictures, but she could talk about how effective they have been.  He seemed more open to the need for the pictures.

A male student said, “Eww, a hand!” as he walked by.  Several students, both male and female proclaimed loudly, “Those are disgusting!”  Yes, that’s the point.

We got lots of encouragement.  Quite a few students, both male and female, either thanked us for being out there, or gave a thumbs up as they were walking by.  Many students took our Unmasking Choice handout.  Many others gazed intently at the pictures as they walked by.  Mission accomplished!

Most universities have spaces where citizens can hold signs and speak with students, even without an invitation.  In this case, we were invited by the UTK Collegians for Life.  The president of Collegians for Life is Clint Kennamer.  Clint became pro-life when he first saw abortion at our GAP display at the University of North Florida (UNF) in 2009.  Clint was at UNF because he came with his wife Kate, who was a CBR staff member at the time.  Now, Clint leads pro-life activism at UTK and Kate still volunteers for CBR projects!  Yes, the pictures work!

Folks, if you want to have a GREAT day, get a couple of your own Choice signs and visit your local college.  You will be teaching powerful truth that people are desperate to know.

Because of her own personal story of abortion and forgiveness, Debbie Picarello is able to share hope and healing.

We are thrilled at the work of Deeper Still, a post-abortion healing ministry based here in Knoxville that reaches out to hurting women, not only in Knoxville and East Tennessee, but anywhere in the world.  Post-abortive women from Deeper Still are frequent volunteers at our GAP displays.

I attended Deeper Still’s fundraising dinner last Tuesday night, and one of the speakers was Judy Townsend.  I have known Judy and her husband Jeff for a couple of years.  In fact, Jeff’s company organized our hugely successful event last year that featured Gov. Mike Huckabee as the keynote speaker.

It was our GAP event on Market Square in Downtown Knoxville that captured Jeff’s attention and led him to offer his help in organizing the dinner for us.   Deeper Still had joined us at this GAP event to let hurting women know that healing from abortion is available.

What I didn’t know (until just last Tuesday night) is that this same GAP event captured Judy’s attention and led her to seek healing for her past abortion.  She found this healing through the work of Deeper Still.

Here are her remarks:

I had my abortion in 1985 when I was 19 years old.  I had joined the USAF, and I was just beginning my own independent life.  I had gone back home after my basic training and had become pregnant by the guy I had been seeing just before I entered the air force.  I was completely shocked and scared and couldn’t believe this was actually happening to me.

I didn’t tell anyone except my mother, and she said to me “just have an abortion and it will all be over soon.”  But it would be anything but “over soon.”  I had the abortion in a clinic after one of my shifts.  I remember being so afraid and sick to my stomach.  The details of what happened that day are blurry because I have buried them so deep for over 26 years.

It wasn’t until I attend the Deeper Still retreat that I came to understand why I was so bound by shame, guilt, and self-hatred.  I asked myself,  “How could abortion cause so much pain when society tells me that it’s my choice and it’s all ok?”  Yet, in my heart I knew the truth was that my actions were murderous.

I lived my entire adult life in a shroud of secrecy and shame concerning my abortion.  I denied myself relationship with children, including my own daughter who was born a year later.  I held her at a distance because I didn’t believe I deserved to be her mother.  This caused a great deal of strain in our relationship.  All the while, I kept my secret.  In fact, I buried it so deep, that I was denying to myself that the event even happened.  That’s how strong and deceiving denial can be!  But I trudged on through life and never told anyone.

I accepted the Lord as my Savior on May 31, 2000 and, for the first time in my life, I felt so much joy and comfort.  But still, I could not believe that I was worthy of His love and blessing.  I believed that He forgave me for my abortion, but that He was still very disappointed in me.  I even thought that when I would see Jesus face to face, He would tell me that there was a certain place in heaven reserved for people like me that had had abortions.  I would not allow myself to fully embrace His grace and forgiveness.

I could never bring myself to tell my husband Jeff about my abortion.  Even though he was the one person in my life with whom I was the most intimate, I still felt I could not cross that barrier of shame in order to bring him into my “secret sin.”

In 2008, Jeff began to work for a ministry that helped women facing crisis pregnancies.  I would cringe inside and shake every time I was in earshot of any of the conversations about abortion.  I would say things like, “I feel so sorry for these poor girls. If only they knew how important life is.”  But then I would feel like a hypocrite for even saying that.

Our move to Knoxville seemed to coincide with the Lord’s timing for me to finally deal with my abortion.  One day, while we were walking around Market Square, we came upon a display that showed images of aborted babies along with images of other forms of holocaust.

I was confronted with these awful images starring me in the face.  I was mad, angry and disgusted.  I couldn’t even let myself look at them.  On the other hand, my husband wanted to take a closer look and talk to the people displaying them.  We obviously were looking at them from very different vantage points.

The Lord used that experience to surface the things that I would never have allowed myself to face on my own.  But He also didn’t just leave me there in my silent torment.

It was shortly after that when Jeff and I met Karen Ellison and some of the Deeper Still ladies.  As they shared with us about Deeper Still, I remember instantly feeling like I would love this ministry.  I already loved these ladies.

In the weeks that followed, some other painful things surfaced that rattled my cage enough to make me finally e-mail Karen, tell her my story, and ask her if I could come to one of the Deeper Still retreats.  She of course said, “Yes, you must come!”

I had 7 more months before the retreat would be here and the Lord used that time to prepare my heart in so many ways.  But the enemy also worked overtime during those months to try to discourage me and talk me out of it.

I also knew that it was time to tell my husband my story, and when I did, he was so full of grace and compassion for me and he wholeheartedly blessed me to go on this retreat.

The week before the retreat, I asked Karen if I could possibly just attend one day of the retreat and leave early on Sunday morning.  But she encouraged me to attend the entire retreat.  I thought to myself, “Uh, oh.  This isn’t going to be a superficial meeting with ‘church women’.”  I knew deep inside that this was going to be important and I was scared to death.

Somehow the Lord guided me there.  I remember telling myself, “I’ll just drive into the parking lot and check things out; if it looks scary then I can just leave.”  I parked the car and the next thing I knew, this beautiful, blonde, bubbly, smiling woman came toward me.  I thought “Oh, no!  Here she comes!  I can’t leave now.”  That was Jenna Collins.  She was so kind as she greeted me and she made me feel so welcomed.  I knew there was no turning back now and I am forever grateful.  Almost immediately, I found myself weeping and weeping.  I looked around and I discovered that was that I was not the only one crying.  We all were.

The Deeper Still team was a conduit of the love of Christ for me that weekend.  I had an encounter that I will never forget.  My self-imposed walls of separation were abolished and I found myself seeing and accepting the true love of Jesus.  I understood so much more fully the enormity of His sacrifice for me.  I understood that my abortion was a violent sinful act, but that Jesus was bigger than my sin.  His sacrifice covered it all and my debt was PAID IN FULL!

I am now walking in freedom that I never thought possible and I’m ready to walk out the destiny that He has ordained for me.  Praise His Name!